A Guide to Alternative Religions

And Their Opponents (Vers. 2.0)

Chapter 6


The Third member of the Triad -some musings
by: the Whyte Bard


"Remember, the Moon is only half as big as the Earth, but it's twice as far away." -Anonymous *

After some time musing on the concept of Goddess/God that is common in Wiccan (and most Neo-Pagan groups) and seeing the common theme of "things come in threes" in these belief systems, I fell to wondering "Why only the God and Goddess? If all things come in threes, where is the Third Aspect that should be there?" So what is this Third Aspect? I feel it is the Holy Fool; the Prometheus who is the Trickster, the God (neuter? sometimes!) that rolls the dice. This also fills in certain holes in neo-Pagan Theology that have bothered me for some time, too. First, we need to have a quick look at the Holy Fool in religious and/or cultural beliefs, both primitive and modern:

American Indian: Aztec: Ueuecoyotl Caddo: Coyote Chinook: Coyote Coos: Coyote Haida: Raven Hopi: Mudhead Kachina, Clown Kachina Kiowa: Coyote Navaho: Coyote Nez Perce: Coyote Omaha: Coyote, Rabbit, Iktinike, Orphan Pueblo: Koshare Sioux: Spider Tillamook: Coyote Tinglit: Raven Winnebago: Rabbit Zuni: Coyote African: Spider, Tortoise, Rabbit, Jackal Graeco/Roman: Pan, Dionysis Celtic: Phooka and the like (see Irish: Fear Dearg, and a host of others. The Fool must love Ireland very much...He made so many of Itself there!) Norse: Loki...-and- Balder Banks Island: Clat Micronesia: Nareau England: Puck, Black Jack Davy Christianity: "Doubting" Thomas, and The Christ Himself, in many ways....and Judas, too. 20th Cent. North American: Bugs Bunny, The Joker, Mr. Mxyzpltk, Murphy, ("And Pooh is a -good- example, too!" said Eeyore) Neo-Paganism: Discordians 18th thru 20th Cent. Appalachian: Jack (from British Isles) 18th and 19th Cent. N.A. Black: Br'er Rabbit, Long John, &c. German: Tyl Eulenspiegel Italy: Harlequin (check out Agatha Christie's stories about "Harley Quinn." VERY interesting!) Islamic: Juha, Abu Nawwas, Mullah Nasruddin, Nasreddin Khoja, Nasreddin Hodja Japanese: Fox, Hotei, and the whole concept of Zen......

And the many, many instances of the Hero figure and his Friend in most people's mythology....Gilgamesh and Enkidu, Robin Hood and Little John, the Mythic Hollywood Western Hero and his ridiculous sidekick, Don Quixote and Sancho Panza.....and many times you see the recurrent theme of the Great Betrayal of the Hero, which leads to His death...and to His Resurrection! One immediately sees that the Fool is a universal constant in folk belief, just as the Goddess and God are! (NB: I have not gotten more specific for two reasons: one, for limitations of space, and two, to encourage others to do a little reading on their own!) As most things, the Fool is Personified in three basic Aspects that (of course) overlap with each other and with the God and Goddess. The first is that of the Saviour God, the Prometheus, the Culture Hero, who brings Knowledge (and -occasionally- Wisdom) to Mankind. This Aspect loves Mankind with all His Being, and only wishes Good. His Good Intentions sometimes fall short of His (or Mankind's) expectations, however. The second is that of the Clown, the Nerd, the Jerk, that teaches by Her own mistakes (and who usually comes out ahead because of His own Innocence.) This Aspect is mostly neutral, and is how He seems to mostly manifest Himself. But let us not forget the third, and darker, side of the Fool, best exemplified by Jack Nicholson's portrayal of The Joker in the film version of "Batman." Just as the Goddess has Her Dark side (the Crone, the Morrigan, &c) and the God has His (Odin as Death-God) so does the Fool have a terrifying Aspect (at least, from the human point of view): Chaos Personified. This is not an Aspect to invoke, as It does not care. Period. It is the ultimate psychopath, the ultimate Spoiled Brat, the quintessence of Ego-centric self-love. In some circles, it could be quite nicely named Ahriman, or Shaitan, or Satan, because it fits all concepts of that Middle-Eastern diety....except one: It does not care if Man worships It or not. It is not in -conflict- with the God and/or Goddess, It is -not- on the kind of power-trip that the Judeo-Christian Satan is represented as having, it just -is-. It should be considered as neither "good" nor "evil," though it can personify both or either....or neither! This is confusing, but with a little thought the concept will (hopefully) come clear. (And, just in passing, the film version of "Batman" is perhaps a very good metaphor for the eternal struggle between the Fool-as-Prometheus (Batman) and the Fool-as-Chaos (the Joker). Are you confused? If you are, GOOD! If you are not, keep thinking by not-thinking. (wha-a-a-a-a-t?) Some of the best examples of the three Personifications are found in the Navaho and Zuni tales of Coyote, or the Br'er Rabbit tales, or the older Bugs Bunny cartoons, or even Walt Disney's Goofy. And, while speaking of classic animation, if you can see any of the cartoons of the Cannibal Boy and the Mynah Bird, do so! It shows not one, but TWO Aspects in action! For a look at His more serious (?) side, try J.R.R. Tolkien's wonderful evocation of Tom Bombadil.....who is described as "the oldest." Prof. Tolkien came very close to the core of the truth with that one! The Fool is your slightly daffy Uncle, that comes to visit at Christmas and is such fun to be with, but who seems to have a sadness about him too, that you found out later, when you were all grown up, was his slide into alcoholism. The Fool is the American sit-com "Daddy" who never seems to get anything right, but wins out in the end anyway. The Fool is the classic scene of Bugs Bunny, floating in a washtub in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, happily singing "As Time Goes By," blissfully uncaring about his obvious which would send a human into sheer despair....knowing that something will turn up, some scam that he can pull that will get him out of the washtub and into clover again. The Fool is the Tarot's Fool, of course....but She is also the Hanged Man. Do -not- invoke the Fool unless you are ready for literally ANYTHING to happen! He just might turn you into a Large Green Frog just to observe what happens......She is capricious. He is unpredictable. He is what She is, and nothing you can do will turn Him from His Purpose, whatever that may be at any given moment. He is "Murphy," and whatever can go wrong, WILL go wrong...or right. Unless you have an uncommonly flexible mind, you -might- not be able to handle it! He has no Festival, unless it is the Lupercal, or perhaps April Fool's Day, or even New Year's Eve, for every day is Her's, as He chooses.

Some have inquired about the seeming overlap of functions in the Goddess/God/Fool triad, and this should be addressed here. The modern Western mind tends to "pigeonhole" things, and rigidly exludes other things from these pigeonholes. This, I feel, is in some ways an error in thinking, especially about the Triad. One cannot and should not "compartmentalize" the God/Fool/Goddess into three rigidly separate Beings, but rather think of them as three separate sources of ripples in the same Pond: the ripples interact and intersect, and act on each other, but move within the same Source, whatever That may be. This is why I kept changing the Fool's gender in the above article.....

-the Whyte Bard at Samhain, 1990 CE

I wish I could list all of my sources, but if I did, it would add several pages to this text, and I am trying to keep it short. I -will- recommend reading one book, however, that will give a great insight into the Holy Fool:

CONTRARYWISE Zohra Greenhalgh, Ace (paperback) April 1989 0-441-117112-2 (it has a sequel, but I can't remember the title offhand....)


Permission is granted to reprint this article, both in electronic and in print. Any copy of this article must include the WHOLE article. Copies of any printed reproduction of this article should be forwarded to "the Bard" c/o PO Box 35190, PHOENIX, AZ 85069.


FOR FURTHER INTEREST: This article is attached:

This article is excerpted from the Rocky Mountain Pagan Journal. Each issue of the Rocky Mountain Pagan Journal is published by High Plains Arts and Sciences; P.O. Box 620604, Littleton Co., 80123, a Colorado Non- Profit Corporation, under a Public Domain Copyright, which entitles any person or group of persons to reproduce, in any form whatsoever, any material contained therein without restriction, so long as articles are not condensed or abbreviated in any fashion, and credit is given the original author.!

THE RIDDLE OF THE TRICKSTER a cross-cultural overview by Thunderspud of Dragonfhain

Who is this trickster archetype, the one who inspires such mixed feelings and brouhaha? Trickster has been with us from the beginning. Trickster will be there at the ending. (If there is an ending, Trickster will probably trigger it). Trickster is a creator, a transformer, a joker, a truth teller, a destroyer.

Whoever has created a dance, a song, written a ritual, tailor-made a job, birthed a child or invented a game has partaken of a controlled Trickster energy. After all, in Northwest Native and Inuit tradition, Raven created the world; Loki is known to the Norse as a co creator (and the bringer of Ragnarok); Anansi the spider-trickster among the Ashanti of Ghana and Nareau the spider in Micronesia; Coyote among the Southwest Natives --these are the creator aspects of this wild and uncontrolled energy. Trickster often begins in the void, desiring to bring Order out of Chaos; once Order is imposed, however, Trickster represents the breaking free of negative power from the Universal Order of things.

As a shape-shifter, Trickster is all things to all people, at one time or another, and often simultaneously. Of course Trickster is a creator and a destroyer. Sure he's a family man and a vagabond. Naturally he gives fire to humans and then steals their food before they can cook it. This is his style; when he acts out of selfishness, everyone benefits -- Maui of the Thousand Tricks might snare the Sun to slow it down, making life easier for humans, but he did it so his mother would have more time to cook for him. When he acts out of altruism, there's most always a negative effect --Marawa, a Lou Costello prototype from Banks Island carved human figures from wood and put them in the ground so they would grow and be strong; however, they merely rotted and death came into the world of humans. This shape-shifter not only moves from shape to shape, but from world to world. Number Eleven suffered at the hands of death to free his brothers; his brothers then took his lifeless body away and revived him. In the Winnebago cycle, Trickster dies three times and returns to life three times. In just one collection of Coyote stories, Giving Birth to Thunder, Sleeping With His Daughter, Coyote dies of a snake bite, a gunshot, an arrow wound, a broken heart, a rock-fall and a drowning; this resembles nothing so much as a Roadrunner cartoon.

Trickster fuzzes the lines between Male and Female, between cunning and stupidity (in one story Coyote steals a horse, in another he almost drowns trying to eat some berries reflected in a stream), between wisdom and stupidity. Trickster tells us the truth about our selves, showing us with truth and wit the sides of our nature that we may be more comfortable not acknowledging; he's the one who points at the Emperor's nakedness, he's Lenny Bruce and Ashleigh Brilliant, Ken Kesey and Uncle Remus, Opus, Geech, Tom Robbins, Abbie Hoffman, Don Becker, Weird Al Yankovich and David Letterman, holding up a skewed mirror of reality for us to look into. Among the Aztecs, as serious a culture as this continent has ever seen, Ueuecoyotl, a funny and outrageously unacceptable clown figure; in the Southwest, at serious rituals, he's the Koshare speeding around the circle with tickling feathers and rattle, being ignored completely by the priest.

Trickster shines on as a culture bringer: Prometheus steals fire for his poor stunted creations, and pays a terrible and eternal price for his philanthropy. Loki also steals fire for humans, as do Anansi, Raven, Coyote, Maui; so far I have found no less than seventeen stories from different cultures on this theme. Anansi tricked Nyankopon the Sky-God out of his stories and gave them to the humans. Clat, from Banks Island, taught humans how to sleep.

In the stories of the Ashanti, Anansi invented the tar-baby as a ruse to trap an elemental spirit, but in the Native American stories, Coyote is trapped by a tar-baby set up by a farmer. Actually the farmer had caught a rabbit with his tar-baby, but Coyote happened along and asked Rabbit what he was doing there. "The farmer who owns this field got mad at me because I wouldn't eat his melons, so he stuck me here and said he'd come back and make me eat chicken." Rabbit replies, "But I told him I wouldn't do it." Of course, greedy Coyote extricates Rabbit and wraps himself around the tar-baby where he still his when the farmer comes out and shoots him.

So this is the Trickster, the energy that allows us to break out of our stereotypes, whether they've been imposed by ourselves, our families, our culture. This is the energy that opens the world of limitless possibilities and it behooves us all to work with it before it destroys us, to touch the Trickster as he touches us.

............from RMPJ, Oct.'86

Neo-Pagans tend to have quite well-developed senses of humor, and will lampoon their own beliefs with great regularity. The following are examples of such lampooning.....which is what Discordianism/Erisianism is essentially all about:


The Law was made and ordained about a week from last Wednesday.

The Law was made for the Wiccca, in order that they should develop a nice longhand style from copying it.

The Wiccca should give due worship to the Godz, presuming that they believe the Godz exist and aren't just metaphors; and obey their Will, which the HPS of the Coven will make up as she goes along, for it was made for the puspose of ego-tripping and wild parties.

The worship of the Wiccca is good for the owners of Occult Supply Stores, for the owners of Occult Supply Stores love the money of the Wicca.

As a man loveth a woman using the missionary position, so the Wiccca should shaft their fellows and other total strangers frequently. And it is necessary that the Magick Circle, which is the principal difference between a Wicccan rite and a frat party, be cast and all the Wiccca properly purified so they can drink five gallons of Ripple each and not throw up. (Editor's Note: Unfortunately, they have stopped making the popular Pagan Pink Ripple and have no plans to continue at this time.)

The HPS shall r/u/i/n/ rule her Coven as the local representative of the Goddess, and choose whomever she is sleeping with this week to be her HP ... or her Maiden.

And remember that the Wiccca would have it that the God Himself kissed Her feet and gave up the position of Ringmaster to Her because of Her arbitrariness and autocracy, Her spite and unreason, Her mysteriousness and ignorance; so the HP is expected to go as far away as possible and not even show up for Sabbats.

It is the greatest virtue of a HPS that she turn as many of her Covenors into closet Xtians as possible, for the true HPS realizes that anyone with the sense Goddess gave a goose is not going to stick around without having a death wish.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In the Olden Days, when the Wiccca extended far, we were free and had reservations in all the best restaurants. But these days, we eat at McDonald's.

SO BE IT ARDANE, that none but the Wiccca shall ever be invited to dinner, for the people who ignore us are many, and if they ever found out what we are really up to, they would giggle.

SO BE IT ARDANE that no Coven shall know where the next Coven bide, nor who its members be, save anyone who looks in Circle Network News and the hit team we send out to sanction them.

SO BE IT ARDANE that no one shall tell anyone anything, least of all they fellows in the Kraft, for fear one of you will learn something; because as it is truly writ: "Gerald wrote it, I copied it, that settles it."

And if any break these Laws, they will have to start their own Tradition and make up their own Grandmother.

Let each HPS govern her Coven as she damn' well please, riding roughshod over the Covenors as long as they will stand for it.

But it must be recognized that sooner or later they will get mad and stop bringing the Ripple to Coven meetings. When this happens, it hath ever been the Old Law that the HPS will Elevate them to Third Degree and kick them out, and promise them the rest of the Book ... someday.

Anyone of any degree or none may found a Coven, provided that they think they can get away with it and can create a convincing Grandmother.

They may raid other Covens for members as long as no one knows where to find them.

But splitting the Coven oft means new opportinities for evading the consequences of your actions, so the wise HPS will think of it first.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

If you should keep a Black Book, let it be in your own hand of write, except for the parts you xerox out of Lady Sheba. Or better yet, tell everybody they're not yet of a high enough degree to see it.

Proclaim your Wicccahood loudly, and often; you may be able to do a brisk trade in spells, psychic fairs, and talk shows. If nobody believes you, try holding a public skyclad Circle. If all else fails, hire a press agent and advertise in the National Inquirer. If they try to make you talk of the Brotherhood, lay it on with a trowel. Ancient Atlantis is always good for a five-minute spot on the Six O'Clock News. Not all interviewers are bad; some may even flash your business address on the screen for a few seconds.

Fear not; the Brotherhood is not likely to notice anything you do, and if they do, they will say: "Well, we have no patent on the word `Witch' ... and who am I to say she's not honest and valid?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

To avoid discovery, let your working tools be ordinary stuff such as any may have around the house: AR-15s, Patton Tanks, Howitzers (let's see how far we can stretch the First Amendment, gang!). Have no names or signs on anything, and remove the ones they came with, as otherwise this can lead to a charge of receiving stolen property.

Let the Pentacles be made of was unless something else is more convenient.

Have no sword, unless you are in the SCA or are a collector of WWII memorabilia.

Write the names and signs on a gummed label so that it can be peeled off immediately afterwards; remember that "Not Guilty By Reason of Insanity" is a valid defense in cases of this kind.

Ever remember that you are the Hidden Children of the Goddess; when you can take time out from karma dumping runs, psychic vendettas, banishing each other from the Coven, and discussing how much fun it would be to persecute the Xtians, remember never to do anything to disgrace Her. Or Them, if that's possible.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In the Olden Days, when we had Power, we could use the Art against any who ill-treated us; but these days a whispering campaign works better. Remember always that there are a lot of flakey people out there, and for this reason it is best to give a fake name and a Pos Office Box address. Someone is always going to blame you for something.

SO BE IT ARDANE: HARM NONE, or at least have a good alibi. Never break this law, or people who get burned along with you will come after you with baseball bats, and you will never be able to score any decent hash again.

Always accept money for the use of the Art, but keep an eye on the Gypsy Laws. In some states, barter works better. All may use the Art for their own advantage; remember, quick and dirty works best, and you can lay off the Karma on the Coven. If that doesn't work, try dead cats in the mailbox.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

'Tis the Old Law and most important of all the Laws that no one may do anything that will endanger any of the Kraft. Unless there's money in it, or it's to someone you think deserves it, and anyway, "endanger" is in the eye of the beholder.

In any dispute between the Wiccca, no one may invoke any Law but that of the Kraft. However, you can break into your opponent's home and mess up their stuff ... after all, it says right here that they can't go to the police.

Never bargain or haggle when you buy for the Art; most Occult Store owners will just throw you out and everyone else will think you're a nut.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Let the Kraft go out and buy a copy of Culpepper's Herbal and a PDR, and learn the names of all pharmaceuticals that will really send you on a bum trip. Keep another book with all the antidotes and the names of your suppliers and let only trustworthy people have this knowledge.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It is ever the way with men and with women that they are rules by their glands. At any moment your HPS may run off and become a Rosicrucian. And the way of Resignation if this: if she doesn't answer her phone for two weeks and is never home when you drive by, you can declare her outcast from the Coven and take over the Coven yourself, with as many as will have you. But if she comes back, she will probably take over the Coven again, or start another one in the same building and declare you Invalid, and there's not much you can do about it. Learn to live with anxiety. Get everything in writing.

It hath bee found that two people sitting around with a bottle of Chianti discussing Atlantean Grandmothers will become fond of each other, if only because of the Stockholm Syndrome. Therefore let it be resolved that a human being shall be taught in the Kraft only by another human being, and screw the middle-class morality of the nineteen-fifties.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And the Curses of the Mighty Ones be on all who try to take this seriously, or the Kraft seriously, or the Wiccca seriously. Caveat Lector, and May The Farce Be With You!


As a High Priest of the Sacred Inner Sanctum of the Javacrucians, I hereby pronounce a mass excommunication of all drinkers of so-called "decaffeinated coffee." A moment's thought will show that this phrase should be placed in the same category as "pain-reliever free aspirin" or "warm ice". Caffeine is the heart, the soul, the quintessence, the sumum bonum of coffee, the elixir of life; removing it leaves you with a bitter black beverage, not a sacrament. By the way, don't even get me started on the subject of instant "coffee"... A JAVACRUCIAN DAWN RITUAL

Place several spoonfuls of freshly ground coffee (preferably Kenya AA or Costa Rican Highland) in a drip or percolation coffee machine. Turn the machine on, and visualize a 110 volt current flowing through the device, warming the water (which I forgot to tell you to add 2 lines ago). Stand slightly slumped, shading your eyes, perhaps leaning on a kitchen counter (the "Lost Weekend" asana). As the alchemical process of coffee production continues, repeat the mantrum "God, I need this" several times in a low, raspy voice. When the coffee is ready, pour some into a large mug. DO NOT ADD CREAM OR SUGAR. This would pollute the sanctity of the eucharist. Hold aloft the mug, facing east, squinting into the sunlight. Then rapidly drink the coffee, scalding your tongue slightly if necessary. Finally, slam the mug onto the counter, and bellow: "God, I needed that!" This ritual, repeated every weekday morning, will strengthen your Body of Light and get you to work on time. - Frater Ehubi


SELECTED ARTICLES FROM THE PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA * or * How I Found Goddess And What I Did To Her When I Found Her


Wherein Is Explained Absolutely Everything Worth Knowing About Absolutely Anything



You hold in your hands one the Great Books of our century fnord.

Some Great Books are recognized at once with a fusilade of critical huzzahs and gonfolons, like Joyce's ULYSSES. Others appear almost furtively and are only discovered 50 years later, like MOBY DICK or Mendel's great essay on genetics. The PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA entered our space-time continuum almost as unobtrusively as a cat-burglar creeping over a windowsill.

In 1968, virtually nobody had heard of this wonderful book. In 1970,hundreds of people coast to coast were talking about it and asking the identity of the mysterious author, Malaclypse the Younger. Rumors swept across the continent, from New York to Los Angeles, from Seattle to St. Joe. Malaclypse was actually Alan Watts,one heard. No,said another legend -- the PRINCIPIA was actually the work of the Sufi Order. A third, very intriguing myth held that Malaclypse was a pen-name for Richard M. Nixon, who had allegedly composed the PRINCIPIA during a few moments of lucidity. I enjoyed each of these yards and did my part to help spread them. I was also careful never to contradict the occasional rumors that I had actually written the whole thing myself during an acid trip.

The legendry, the mystery, the cult grew slowly. By the mid-1970's, thousands of people, some as far off as Hong Kong and Australia, were talking about the PRINCIPIA, and since the original was out of print by then, xerox copies were beginning to circulate here and there.

When the ILLUMINATUS trilogy appeared in 1975, my co-author, Bob Shea, and I bothy received hundreds of letters from people intrigued by the quotes from the PRINCIPIA with which we had decorated the heads of several chapters. Many, who had already heard of the PRINCIPIA or seen copies, asked if Shea and I had written it, or if we had copies availible. Others wrote to ask if it were real, or just something we had invented the way H.P. Lovecraft invented the NECRONOMICON. We answered according to our moods, sometimes telling the truth, sometimes spreading the most Godawful lies and myths we could devise fnord.

Why not? We felt that this book was a true Classic (literatus immortalis) and, since the alleged intelligentsia had not yet discovered it, the best way to keep its legend alive was to encourage the mythology and the controversy about it. Increasingly, people wrote to ask me if Timothy Leary had written it, and I almost always told them he had, except on Fridays whem I am more whimsical, in which case I told them it had been transmitted by a canine intellgence --vast,cool,and unsympathic -- from the Dog Star, Sirius.

Now, at last, the truth can be told.

Actually, the PRINCIPIA is the work of a time-travelling anthropologist from the 23rd Century. He is currently passing among us as a computer specialist, bon vivant and philosopher named Gregory Hill. He has also translated several volumes of Etruscan erotic poetry, under another pen-name, and in the 18th Century was the mysterious Man in Black who gave Jefferson the design for the Great Seal of the United States.

I have it on good authority that he is one of the most accomplished time- travelers in the galaxy and has visited Earth many times in the past,using such cover-identities as Zeno of Elias, Emperor Norton, Count Cagliostro, Guilliame of Aquaitaine, etc. Whenever I question him about this, he grows very evasive and attempts to persuade me that he is actually just another 20th Century Earthman and that all my ideas about his extraterrrestrial and extratemporal origin and delusions. Hah! I am not that easily deceived. After all, a time-travelling anthropologist would say just that, so that he could observe us without his presense causing cultureshock.

I understand that he has consented to write an Afterward to this edition. He'll probably contradict everything I've told you, but don't believe a word he says fnord. He is a master of the deadpan put-on, the plausible satire, the philosophical leg-pull and all the branches of guerilla ontology.

For full benefit to the Head, this book should be read in conjunction with THE ILLUMINOIDS by Neal Wilgus (Sun Press, Albuquerque, NM) and ZEN WITHOUT ZEN MASTERS by Camden Benares (And/Or Press, Berkeley, California). "We are operating on many levels here", as Ken Kesey used to say.

In conclusion, there is no conclusion. Things go on as they always have, getting weirder all the time. Hail Eris. All hail Discordia. Fnord?

-Robert Anton Wilson International Arms and Hashish Inc. Darra Bazar, Kohat

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Be Ye Not Lost Among Precepts of Order... - The Book of Uterus 1;5

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Some excerpts from an interview with Malaclypse the Younger by THE GREATER METROPOLITAN YORBA LINDA HERALD-NEWS-SUN-TRIBUNE-JOURNAL-DISPATCH-POST AND SAN FRANCISCO DISCORDIAN SOCIETY CABAL BULLETIN AND INTERGALACTIC REPORT & POPE POOP.

GREATER POOP:Are you really serious or what? MAL-2: Sometimes I take humor seriously. Sometimes I take seriousness humorously. Either way it is irrelevant.

GP: Maybe you are just crazy. M2: Indeed! But do not reject these teaching as false because I am crazy. The reason that I am crazy is because they are true.

GP: Is Eris true? M2: Everything is true. GP: Even false things? M2: Even false things are true. GP: How can that be? M2: I don't know man, I didn't do it.

GP: Why do you deal with so many negatives? M2: To dissolve them. GP: Will you develop that point? M2: No.

GP: Is there an essential meaning behind POEE? M2: There is a Zen Story about a student who asked a Master to explain the meaning of Buddhism. The Master's reply was "Three pounds of flax." GP: Is that the answer to my question? M2: No, of course not. That is just illustrative. The answer to your question is FIVE TONS OF FLAX!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF)

The PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit Apostle Zarathud in the Fifth Year of The Caterpillar. He found them carved in gilded stone, while building a sun deck for his cave, but their import was lost for they were written in a mysterious cypher. However, after 10 weeks & 11 hours of intensive scrutiny he discerned that the message could be read by standing on his head and viewing it upside down.


I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.

II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.

III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).

IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.

V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing What he reads.


Test Question from Topanga Cabal The Twelve Famous Buddha Minds School: If they are our brothers, how come we can't eat them?



by Camden Benares, The Count of Five Headmaster, Camp Meeker Cabal

A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled. One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "go to the dilapidated mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you. Do not speak to those who live there; you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. Go to the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and meditate." He did just as the Zen Master instructed. His meditation was frequently interrupted by worries. He worried whether or not the resr of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on. He worried how would he know when the moon rose on the next night. He worried about what the people who walked through the room said about him. His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At that time two people walked into the room. The first asked the second who the man was sitting there was. The second replied "Some say he is a holy man. Others say he is a shithead." Hearing this, the man was enlightened.



Just prior to the decade of the nineteen-sixties, when Sputnik was alone and new, and about the time that Ken Kesey took his first acid trip as a medical volunteer; before underground newspapers, Viet Nam, and talk of a second American Revolution; in the comparative quiet of the late nineteen-fifties, just before the idea of RENAISSANCE became relevant....

Two young Californians, known later as Omar Ravenhurst and Malaclypse the Younger, were indulging in their habit of sipping coffee at an allnight bowling alley and generally solving the world's problems. This particular evening the main subject of discussion was discord and they were complaining to each other of the personal confusion they felt in their respective lives. "Solve the problem of discord," said one, "and all other problems will vanish." "Indeed," said the other, "chaos and strife are the roots of all confusion."


Suddenly the place became devoid of light. Then an utter silence enveloped them, and a great stillness was felt. Then came a blinding flash of intense light, as though their very psyches had gone nova. Then vision returned.

The two were dazed and neither moved nor spoke for several minutes. They looked around and saw that the bowlers were frozen like statues in a variety of comic positions, and that a bowling ball was steadfastly anchored to the floor only inches from the pins that it had been sent to scatter. The two looked at each other, totally unable to account for the phenomenon. The condition was one of suspension, and one noticed that the clock had stopped.

There walked into the room a chimpanzee, shaggy and grey about the muzzle, yet upright to his full five feet, and poised with natural majesty. He carried a scroll and walked to the young men.

"Gentlemen," he said, "why does Pickering's Moon go about in reverse orbit? Gentlemen, there are nipples on your chests; do you give milk? And what, pray tell, Gentlemen, is to be done about Heisenberg's Law?" He paused. "SOMEBODY HAD TO PUT ALL OF THIS CONFUSION HERE!"

And with that he revealed his scroll. It was a diagram, like a yin-yang with a pentagon on one side and an apple on the other. And then he exploded and the two lost consciousness.


They awoke to the sound of pins clattering, and found the bowlers engaged in their game and the waitress busy with making coffee. It was apparant that their experience had been private.

They discussed their strange encounter and reconstructed from memory the chimpanzee's diagram. Over the next five days they searched libraries to find the significance of it, but were disappointed to uncover only references to Taoism, the Korean flag, and Technocracy. It was not until they traced the Greek writing on the apple that they discoveredthe ancient Goddess known to the Greeks as ERIS and to the Romans as DISCORDIA. This was on the fifth night, and when they slept that night wach had a vivid dream of a splendid woman whose eyes were as soft as feather and as deep as eternity itself, and whose body was the spectacular dance of atoms and universes. Pyrotechnics of pure energy formed her flowing hair, and rainbows manifested and dissolved as she spoke in a warm and gentle voice:

I have come to tell you that you are free. Many ages ago, My consciousness left man, that he might develop himself. I return to find this development approaching completion, but hindered by fear and by misunderstanding.

You have built for yourselves psychic suits of armor, and clad in them, your vision is restricted, your movements are clumsy and painful, your skin is bruised, and your spirit is broiled in the sun.

I am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are free.

During the next months they studied philosophies and theologies, and learned that ERIS or DISCORDIA was primarily feared by the ancients as being disruptive. Indeed, the very concept of chaos was still considered equivalent to strife and treated as a negative. "No wonder things are all screwed up," they concluded, "they have got it all backwards." They found that the principle of disorder was every much as significant as the principle of order.

With this in mind, they studied the strange yin-yang. During a meditation one afternoon, a voice came to them:

It is called THE SACRED CHAO. I appoint you Keepers of It. Therein you will find anything you like. Speak of Me as DISCORD, to show contrast to the pentagon. Tell constricted mankind that there are no rules, unless they choose to invent rules. Keep close the words of Syadasti: 'TIS AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NO MINDS. And remember that there is no tyranny in the State of Confusion. For further information, consult your pineal gland.

"What is this?" mumbled one to the other, "A religion based on The Goddess of Confusion? It is utter madness!"

And with those words, each looked at the other in absolute awe. Omar began to giggle. Mal began to laugh. Omar began to jump up and down. Mal was hooting and hollering to beat all hell. And amid squeals of mirth and with tears on their cheeks, each appointed the other to be high priest of his own madness, and together they declared themselves to be a society of Discordia, for what ever that may turn out to be.

"There are trivial truths & there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true." -Neils Bohr

"Did you know that there is a million bucks hidden in the house next door?" "But there is no house next door." "No? Then let's go build one!" -MARX

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT ERIS (NOT MUCH)

The Romans left a likeness of Her for posterity-- She was shown as a grotesque woman with a pale and ghastly look, Her eyes afire, Her garment ripped and torn, and women look pale and ghastly when concealing a chilly dagger in their bosoms.

Her geneology is from the Greeks and is utterly confused. Either She was the twin of Ares and the daughter of Zeus and Hera; or She was the daughter of Nyx, goddess of night (who was either the daughter or wife of Chaos, or both), and Nyx's brother, Erebus, and whose brothers and sisters include Death, Doom, Mockery, and Friendship. And that She begat Forgetfullness, Quarrels, Lies, and a bunch of gods and goddesses like that.

One day Mal-2 consulted his Pineal Gland* and asked Eris if She really created all of those terrible things. She told him that She had always liked the Old Greeks, but that they cannot be trusted with historic matters. "They were," She added, "victims of indigestion, you know."

Suffice it to say that Eris is not hateful or malicious. But She is mischievous, and does get a little bitchy at times.

*THE PINEAL GLAND is where each and every one of us can talk to Eris. If you have trouble activating your Pineal, then try the appendix which does almost as well. Reference: DOGMA I, METAPHYSICS #3, "The Indoctrine of the Pineal Gland"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE INSIDE STORY!

The Law of Fives

The Law of Fives is one of the oldest Erisian Mysterees. It was first revealed to Good Lord Omar and is one of the great contributions to come from The Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus. POEE suscribes to the Law of Fives of Omar's sect. And POEE also recognizes the holy 23 (2+3=5) that is incorporated by Episkopos Dr. Mordecai Malignatus, KNS, into his Discordian sect, The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria. The Law of Fives states simply that: ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR ARE DIVISIBLE BY OR ARE MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY APPROPRIATE TO 5. The Law of Fives is never wrong. In the Erisian Archives is an old memo from Omar to Mal-2: "I find the Law of Fives to be more and more manifest the harder I look."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ = THE FIVE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS =

The official symbol of POEE is here illustrated. It may be this, or any similar device to represent TWO OPPOSING ARROWS CONVERGING INTO A COMMON POINT. It may be vertical, horizontal, or else such, and it may be elaborated or simplified as desired.

The esoteric name for this symbol is THE FIVE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS, commonly shortened to THE HAND. \ / -----><----- / \

NOTE: In the lore of western magic, the \/ is taken to symbolize horns, especially the horns of Satan or of diabolical beasties. The Five Fingered Hand of Eris, however, is not intended to be taken as satanic, for the "horns" are supported by another set, of inverted "horns". Or maybe it is walrus tusks. I don't know what it is, to tell the truth.

"Surrealism aims at the total transformation of the mind and all that resembles it" -Breton ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -><- POEE -><-

POEE (pronounced "POEE") is an acronym for The PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC. The first part can be taken to mean "equivalent deity,reversity beyond-mystique." We are not really esoteric, it's just that nobody pays much attention to us.

MY HIGH REVERENCE MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, AB, DD, KSC, is the High Priest of POEE, and POEE is grounded in his episkopotic revelations of The Goddess. He is called [The Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold].

The POEE HEAD TEMPLE is the Joshua Norton Cabal of The Discordian Society, which is located in Mal-2's pineal gland and can be found by temporally and spacially locating the rest of Mal-2.

POEE has no treasury, no by-laws, no articles, no guides save Mal-2's pineal gland, and has only one scruple-- which Mal-2 keeps on his key chain.

POEE has not registered,incorporated, or otherwise chartered with the State, and so the State does not recognize POEE or POEE Ordinations, which is only fair, because POEE does not recognize the State.

POEE has 5 DEGREES: There is the neophyte, or LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLE. The LEGIONNAIRE DEACON, who is catching on. An Ordained POEE PRIEST/PRIESTESS or a CHAPLIN. The HIGH PRIEST, the Polyfather. And POEE =POPE=.

POEE LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLES are authorized to initiate others as Discordian Society Legionnaires. PRIESTS appoint their own DEACONS. The POLYFATHER ordains priests. I don't know about the =POPES=.

" This book is a mirror. When a monkey looks in, no apostle looks out." -Lichtenberg


Application For Membership In the Erisian movement of the DISCORDIA SOCIETY

1. Today's date Yesterday's Date

2. Purpose of this application: --membership in : a. Legion of Dynamic Discord b. POEE c. Bavarian Illuminati d. All of the Above e. None of the Above f. Other-- BE SPECIFIC!

3. Name_________________________Holy Name________________ Address_____________________________________________________________ (If temporary, also give an address from which mail can be forwarded)

4. Description: Born: []Yes []No Eyes:[]2 []other Height:

..... fl. oz. Last time you had a haircut: Reason:

Race: []horse []human I.Q.: 150-200 200-250 250-300 over 300

5. History: Education - highest grade completed 1 2 3 4 5 6 over 6th Professional: On another ream of paper list every job since 1937 from which you have been fired. Medical: On a separate sheet labeled "confidential" list all major psychic psychotic episodes experienced within the last 24 hours

6. Sneaky Questions to establish personality traits I would rather a. live in an outhouse b. play in a rock group c. eat caterpillars. I wear obscene tattoos because .......... I have ceased raping little children []yes []no -- reason ..........

7. Self Portrait

Rev. Mungo For Office Use Only -- acc. rej. burned



(You may be one of the lucky 25)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ For Your Enlightenment

THE PARABLE OF THE BITTER TEA by Rev. Dr. Hypocrates Magoun, P.P. POEE PRIEST, Okinawa Cabal

When Hypoc was through meditating with St. Gulik, he went there into the kitchen where he busied himself with preparing the feast and in his endevor, he found that there was some old tea in a pan left standing from the night before, when he had in his weakness forgot about its making and had let it sit steeping for 24 hours. It was dark and murky and it was Hypoc's intention to use this old tea by diluting it with water. And again in his weakness, chose without further consideration and plunged into the physical labor of the preparations. It was then when deeply immersed in the pleasure of that trip, he had a sudden loud clear voice in his head saying "it is bitter tea that involves you so." Hypoc heard the voice, but the struggle inside intensified, and the pattern, previously established with the physical laboring and the muscle messages coordinated and unified or perhaps coded, continued to exert their influence and Hypoc succummed to the pressure and he denied the voice. And again he plunged into the physical orgy and completed the task, and Lo as the voice had predicted, the tea was bitter.

"The Five Laws have root in awareness." --Che Fung (Ezra Pound, Canto 85)

The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that believe in it. Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that believe in it on the supposition that they'll go there if they don't. HBT; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ =THE FIVE APOSTLES OF ERIS & WHO THEY BE =

1. HUNG MUNG A Sage of Ancient China and Official Discordian Missionary to the Heathen Chinee. He who originally devised THE SACRED CHAO. Patron of the Season of Chaos. Holyday: Jan 5.

2. DR. VAN VAN MOJO A Head Doctor of Deep Africa and Maker of Fine Dolls. D.H.V., Doctor of Hoodoo and Vexes, from The Greater Metropolitan Yorba Linda Jesus Will Save Your Bod Home Study Bible School; and F.I.H.G.W.P., Fellow of the Intergalactic Haitian Guerrillas for World Peace. Patron of The Season of Discord. Holyday: Mar 19. [NOTE: Erisians of The Laughing Christ sect are of the silly contention that Dr. Mojo is an imposter and that PATAMUNZO LINGANANDA is the True Second Apostle. Lord Omar claims that Dr. Mojo heaps hatred upon Patamunzo, who sends only Love Vibrations in return. But we of the POEE sect know that Patamunzo is the Real Imposter, and that those vibrations of his are actually an attempt to subvert Dr. Mojo's rightful apostilic authority by shaking him out of his wits.

3. SRI SYADASTI SYADAVAKTAVYA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADASTI CAVAKTAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVATAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVAKTAVYASCA commonly called just SRI SYADASTI. His name is Sanskrit, and means: All affirmations are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. He is an Indian Pundit and Prince, born of the Peyotl Tribe, son of Gentle Chief Sun Flower Seed and the squaw Merry Jane. Patron to psychedlic type Discordians. Patron of the Season of Confusion. Holyday: May 31. NOTE: Sri Syadasti should not be confused with BLESSED ST. GULIK THE STONED, who is not the same person but is the same Apostle.

4. ZARATHUD THE INCORRIGIBLE, sometimes called ZARATHUD THE STAUNCH A hard nosed Hermit of Medieval Europe and Chaosphe Bible Banger. Dubbed "Offender of The Faith." Discovered the Five Commandments. Patron of the Season of Bureaucracy. Holyday: Aug. 12

5. THE ELDER MALACLYPSE A wandering Wiseman of Ancient Mediterrania ("Med-Terra" or middle earth), who followed a 5-pointed Star through the alleys of Rome, Damascus, Baghdad, Jerusalem, Mecca and Cairo, bearing a sign that seemed to read "DOOM". (This is a misunderstanding. The sign actually read "DUMB". Mal-1 is a Non-Prophet.) Patron and namesake of Mal-2. Patron on The Season of The Aftermath. Holyday: Oct 24.

All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. A public service clarification by the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual Wisdom, Wilmette.

The teachings of the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual School of Spiritual Wisdom are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. Patamunzo Lingananda School of Higher Spiritual Wisdom, Skokie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CONVENTIONAL CHAOS


In the year 1166 B.C., a malcontented hunchbrain by the name of Greyface, got it into his head that the universe was as humorless as he, and he began to teach that play was sinful because it contradicted the ways of Serious Order. "Look at all the order around you," he said. And from that, he deluded honest men to believe that reality was a straightjacket affair and not the happy romance as men had known it.

It is not presently understood why men were so gullible at that particular time, for absolutely no one thought to observe all the disorder around them and conclude just the opposite. But anyway, Greyface and his followers took the game of playing at life more seriously than they took life itself and were known even to destroy other living beings whose ways of life differed from their own.

The unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been suffering from a psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance causes frustration, and frustration causes fear. And fear makes for a bad trip. Man has been on a bad trip for a long time now.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE CURSE OF GREYFACE AND THE INTRODUCTION OF NEGATIVISM

To choose order over disorder, or disorder over order, is to accept a trip composed of both the creative and the destructive. But to choose the creative over the destructive is an all-creative trip composed of both order and disorder. To accomplish this, one need only accept creative disorder along with, and equal to, creative order, and also willing to reject destructive order as an undesirable equal to destructive disorder.

The Curse of Greyface included the division of life into order/disorder as the essential positive/negative polarity, instead of building a game foundation with creative/destructive as the essential positive/negative. He has thereby caused man to endure the destructive aspects of order and has prevented man from effectively participating in the creative uses of disorder. Civilization reflects this unfortunate division.

POEE proclaims that the other division is preferable, and we work toward the proposition that creative disorder, like creative order, is possible and desireable; and that destructive order, like destructive disorder, is unnecessary and undesirable.

Seek the Sacred Chao - therein you will find the foolishness of all ORDER/DISORDER. They are the same!



1. Ye have locked yerselves up in cages of fear--and, behold, do ye now complain that ye lack FREEDOM!

2. Ye have cast out yer brothers for devils and now complain ye, lamenting, that ye've been left to fight alone.

3. All Chaos was once yer kingdom; verily, held ye dominion over the entire Pentaverse, but today ye was sore afraid in dark corners, nooks, and sink holes.

4. O how the darknesses do crowd up, one against the other, in ye hearts! What fear ye more that what ye have wroughten?

5. Verily, verily I say unto you, not all the Sinister Ministers of the Bavarian Illuminati, working together in multitudes, could so entwine the land with tribulation as have yer baseless warnings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The World's Oldest And Most Successful Conspiracy


Founded by Hassan i Sabbah, 1090 A.D. (5090 A.L., 4850 A.M.) Reformed by Adam Weishaupt, 1776 A.D. (5776 A.L., 5536 A.M.)

( )Official Business (X) Surreptitious Business

From: MAD MALIK Hauptscheissmeister

Dear Brother Mal-2,

In response to your request for unclassified agitprop to be inserted in the new edition of PRINCIPIA, hope the following will be of use. And please stop bothering us with your incessant letters!

Episkopos Mordecai, Keeper of the Notary Sojac, informs me that you are welcome to reveal that our oldest extant records show us to have been fully established in Atlantis, circa 18,000 B.C., under Kull, the galley slave who ascended to the Throne of Valusia. Revived by Pelias of Koth, circa 10,000 B.C. Possibly it was he who taught the inner-teachings to Conan of Cimmeria after Conan became King of Aquilonia. First brought to the western hemisphere by Conan and taught to Mayan priesthood (Conan is Quetzlcoatl). That was 4 Ahua, 8 Cumhu, Mayan date. Revived by Abdul Alhazred in his infamous Al Azif, circa 800 A.D. (Al Azif translated into Latin by Olaus Wormius, 1132 A.D., as The Necronomicon.) In 1090 A.D. was the founding of The Ismaelian Sect (Hashishim) by Hassan i Sabbah, with secret teachings based on Alhazred, Pelias and Kull. Founding of the Illuminated Ones of Bavaria, by Adam Weishaupt, on May 1, 1776. He based it on the others. Weishaupt brought it to the United States during the period that he was impersonating George Washington; and it was he who was the Man in Black who gave the design for The Great Seal to Jeffersson in the garden that night. The Illuminated tradition is now, of course, in the hands of The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria (A.I.S.B.), headquartered here in the United States.

Our teachings are not, need I remind you, available for publication. No harm, though, in admitting that some of them can be found disguised in Joyce's Finnegan's Wake, Burroughs Nova Express, the King James translation of the Holy Bible (though not the Latin or Hebrew), and The Blue Book. Not to speak of Ben Franklin's private papers (!), but we are still suppressing those.

Considering current developments--you know the ones I speak of--it has been decided to reveal a few more of our front organizations. Your publication is timely, so mention that in addition to the old fronts like the Masons, the Rothchild Banks, and the Federal Reserve System, we now have significant control of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (since Hoover died last year, but that is still secret), the Students for a Democratic Society, the Communist Party USA, the American Anarchist Assn., the Junior Chamber of Commerce, the Black Lotus Society, the Republican Party, the John Dillinger Died For You Society, and the Camp Fire Girls. It is still useful to continue the sham of the Birchers that we are seeking world domination; so do not reveal that political and economic cotrol was generally complete several generations ago and that we are just playing with the world for a while until civilization advances sufficiently for phase five.

In fact you might still push Vennard's The Federal Reserve Hoax: "Since the Babylonian Captivity there has existed a determined, behind-the-scenes under-the-table, atheistic, satanic, anti-Christian force--worshipers of Mamon--whose undying purpose is world control through the control of Money. July 1, 1776 (correct that to May 1st, Vennard can't get anything right) the Serpent raised its head in the under-ground secret society known as the Illuminati, founded by Adam Weishaupt. There is considerable documentary evidence to prove all revolutions, wars, depressions, strikes and chaos stem from this source." Etc., etc., you know the stuff.

The general location of our US HQ, incidently, has been nearly exposed; and so we will be moving for the first time this century (what a drag!). If you want, you can reveal that it is located deep in the labyrinth of sewers beneath Dealy Plaza in Dallas, and is presided over by The Dealy Lama. Inclosed are some plans for several new potential locations. Please review and add any comments you feel pertinent, especially regarding the Eristic propensity of the Pentagon site.

Oh, and we have some good news for you, Brother Mal! You know that Zambian cybernetics genius who joined us? Well, he has secretly co-ordinated the FBI computers with the Zurich System and our theoriticians are in ecstacy over the new information coming out. Look, if you people out there can keep from blowing yourselves up for only two more generations, then we will finally have it. After 20,000 years, Kull's dream will be realized! We can hardly believe it. But the outcome is certain, given the time. Our grandchildren, Mal! If civilization makes it through this crises, our grandchildren will live in a world of authentic freedom and authentic harmony and authentic satisfaction. I hope I'm alive to see it, Mal, success is in our grasp. Twenty thousand years....!

Ah, I get spaced just thinking about it. Good luck on the Principia. Ewige Blumenkraft! HAIL ERIS.


PS: PRIVATE - Not for publication in The Principia. We are returning to the two Zwack Cyphers for classified communications. Herewith your copy. DO NOT DIVULGE THIS INFORMATION - SECURITY E-5.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Part Five The Golden Secret


The human race will begin solving it's problems on the day that it ceases taking itself so seriously.

To that end, POEE proposes the countergame of NONSENSE AS SALVATION. Salvation from an ugly and barbarous existence that is the result of taking order so seriously and so seriously fearing contrary orders and disorder, that GAMES are taken as more important than LIFE; rather than taking LIFE AS THE ART OF PLAYING GAMES.

To this end, we propose that man develop his innate love for disorder, and play with The Goddess Erip. And know that it is a joyful play, and that thereby CAN BE REVOKED THE CURSE OF GREYFACE.

If you can master nonsense as well as you have already learned to master sense, then each will expose the other for what it is: absurdity. From that moment of illumination, a man begins to be free regardless of his surroundings. He becomes free to play order games and change them at will. He becomes free to play disorder games just for the hell of it. He becomes free to play neither or both. And as the master of his own games, he plays without fear, and therefore without frustration, and therefore with good will in his soul and love in his being.

And when men become free then mankind will be free. May you be free of The Curse of Greyface. May the Goddess put twinkles in your eyes. May you have the knowledge of a sage, and the wisdom of a child. Hail Eris.T'AI

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THUS ENDS PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA This being the 4th Edition, March 1970, San Francisco; a revision of the 3rd Edition of 500 copies, whomped together in Tampa 1969; whcih revised the 2nd Edition of 100 copies from Los Angeles 1969; which was a revision of "PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA or HOW THE WEST WAS LOST" published in New Orleans in 1965 in five copies, which were mostly lost.

If you think the PRINCIPIA is just a ha-ha, then go read it again.

(K) ALL RIGHTS REVERSED - Reprint what you like

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Confused? Good! The Discordians, aka Erisians, tend to poke fun, invoke Murphy's Law, and in general raise cain a lot....and make you (hopefully) think thru your assumptions.

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